Sad Mother's Day

Today is Mother’s Day. It is a celebration of the women who gave us life, but it is also a very difficult day for many out there who have lost their moms. I have become one of the latter. I wanted to just take a moment to share some thoughts and to speak to those who may be struggling during this time.

Grief and the “Happy Times.”

Sometimes the “happy times,” holidays and such, are the hardest. I remember how sad I was on My son’s birthday which we celebrated 21 days after my mother died. I wanted to be happy and to enjoy my son’s big day, but half of my brain was stuck on the fact that there would be no gift from Grandma, and she would no longer be around for any of the big days.

Next came Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, etc. With these, came all the memories of eating turkey, trick or treating, and looking under the tree, each memory tied directly to my mom and now firmly attached to the notion of loss. As time has gone by, some holidays seem to get easier while others get harder.

For me, Spring has always been my happiest time. I always loved Mother’s Day, and my birthday falls the week after. Recently, I’ve felt increased stress and hypothesized that it’s because my brain says “Remember, this is that time of year when you take your mom out to lunch and then a week later she returns the favor as you celebrate each other,” and then the other part of my brain reminds me that neither of these things will ever happen again.

What Do We Do If Mother’s Day is Not a Happy Day?

This is a very personal question, and no one else can give you the answer for you, but I have some thoughts. Some might choose to change the day completely so they don’t get lost in the sadness. This could involve going on a day trip, working on a new project, or doing anything to shift your focus to something positive.

On the other hand, just because she’s not here anymore, doesn’t mean that we can’t still celebrate Mom. Instead of trying to push the thoughts away, I take the opportunity to remember all the Mother’s Days of the past, all the birthdays, and everything that she was to me.

By remembering my mom on Mother’s Day, amidst the sadness, there is a spark of lingering connection that says “Even though you lost her, you didn’t let her go and what she was will always be part of you.” I find this thought to be beautiful and hopefully, it resonates with someone who needs to hear it.

Whether you take the day to honor a memory or take a trip to get away from the reminders of loss, I hope that this day is a good one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.